While some people might think psychologists generally frown on people talking to themselves, not me. Nope. I encourage people to talk themselves. A lot, in fact. It might sound strange, but here’s the truth.
Healthy people talk to themselves. A lot.
Healthy people talk to themselves in difficult moments, when they want to lose their cool and freak out. They talk to themselves in moments of despair, hurt, and pain. Healthy people talk to themselves when they’re uncertain how to get through something and when fear threatens to take over. Healthy people also talk to themselves in moments of joy and celebration, reminding themselves to be mindful and soak it up. They give themselves kudos for their perseverance, as well as credit for their part in a job well done.
Healthy people are constantly talking to themselves. Their inner voice is consistently coaching, encouraging, and comforting. This self-talk acts as a guide and companion, helping them navigate whatever life throws their way.
But it’s not just the words of self-talk that healthy people have down. It’s also the tone. Healthy people talk to themselves in a tone that is helpful, depending on the situation. In a difficult moment, they take a kind and compassionate tone, lowering their voice and softening the edges. In a moment of fear and doubt, their tone is reassuring and gentle. And in a moment of success and joy, their tone is warm and congratulatory, perhaps even playful.
How often do you talk to yourself? What sort of tone do you tend to take with yourself? We all have that little internal voice in our heads, and what it says matters. So while we can’t always control what life throws our way, we can absolutely choose how we are going to talk ourselves through it.
In what moments would you like to talk to yourself more? What kinds of things do you need to hear?
PS: Not convinced your self-talk really matters? Check out this post.