You know those weeks when you’re having a hard time? The weeks when you can’t seem to get your feet under you? You’ve been short-tempered with your kids, you’re unhappy at work, you’re dealing with some sucky health stuff. You know the weeks I’m talking about. The rest of the world seems to be moving, but you feel stuck, sucky, and overwhelmed.
Life can be tough sometimes. Really tough. It’s in these times when we feel the most alone, and we doubt whether or not we can make it through. Believe it or not, these hard times are a normal part of life. We all have days like this. The fact that you have them tells me you are a human.
My hope for you isn’t that you don’t have these hard times, but rather, I want you to learn how to get through them. My clients are often surprised when I say this. The goal isn’t to make all your struggles go away. Rather, the goal is to help you learn how to tolerate and navigate life’s struggles with more confidence and ease.
Self-talk is a huge part of being emotionally healthy. I firmly believe that healthy people talk to themselves. A lot. The kinder and more encouraging this self-talk is, the better we seem to do.
Here’s the self-talk statement I want you to use when you’re struggling. It’s a statement I use regularly, as do a lot of my clients. Ready?
This is hard, and I can do this.
Yep, that’s it. It’s that simple. This is hard, and I can do this.
When we’re struggling, our negative self-talk ramps up. Fear and doubt creep in, and we convince ourselves that we can’t do it; we won’t make it. But I don’t buy that. I think we can do it. It may be hard as hell, but we can do it. And it’s crucial to remind yourself of that over and over when you’re struggling.
Examples: You are swimming in grief after a painful loss, and you’re not sure you can make it through. “This is hard, and I can do this.” You’re worried about a situation at work, and you find yourself predicting how it’s going to turn out terribly. This is hard, and I can do this.” You’ve got multiple little ones at home, and you’re wondering if you’re doing any of this parenting thing correctly. “This is hard, and I can do this.”
Will this make your problem go away? No. Will it take away your struggle? Nope. What this phrase will do is challenge the fear and self-doubt, reminding yourself that as intense and sucky as the struggle is, you will get through it. Part of being a human is struggling. We can’t control that, but what we can control is how we respond. My challenge to you this week? Remember, this is hard, but you can do it.
PS: You might notice that this statement follows the formula of acknowledge then encourage. Yep, it’s alllll connected.
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