First things, first. This post had an alternate title of “What James Corden, Adele, and Carpool Karaoke taught me about not giving a flip what others think about me.” My SEO guide told me the title was too long, so I went with the title you see instead. But please know, that other title about Adele and James Corden? It’s 110% accurate.
We all know it’s not particularly healthy to worry about what others think of us. It’s a trap. Do they like me? Do they get me? Do they appreciate what I’m putting out there? I like to think most of us have involved from our middle school selves, worrying about acceptance and fitting in. But the reality is, we’re human; we care about what others think of us. It’s natural. Too often though, this caring goes too far.
A few months ago, I got my first “thumbs down” on a Youtube video. I’m fairly embarrassed to admit how much this bothered me. I spent nearly twenty minutes pondering what the person didn’t like. Was I not clear enough? Was the concept too confusing? Was I not engaging enough? I carried on like this for far too long before I got myself together. I reminded myself of a phrase I had seen a week earlier. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I repeated this over and over and moved on with my day. (Sidenote: I’m pretty sure a part of me was still trying to think of a universally adored tea flavor, hoping to prove the theory wrong.)
Fast forward several months. I’m watching my favorite Carpool Karaoke episode over lunch. And then, out of the corner of my eye, the craziest thing caught my attention. And it shook me to my core. Check out the video below for the next part of the story.
Seeing that number sent me into shock. 2700 people don’t like this video. 2700 people don’t get Adele and her fabulousness. 2700 people dislike joyful and witty singalongs. What? How is that even possible?! And then it hit me. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea.
Why is it that my view of Adele doesn’t change with 2700 dislikes, but when I get ONE dislike, I’m sent into a tailspin? Why is it that you can feel confident in who you are until a friend doesn’t text you back, prompting you to wonder what you did wrong? Why is that you can feel great about your work performance and then question it all when a coworker makes a snide comment? Why do you spend hours trying to make everyone like you, when the people who care about you already do.
We are never going to have everyone like us. We are never going to make everyone happy. We are never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. A big thanks to Adele, James Corden, and their fabulous episode of Carpool Karaoke for reminding me of this.
Do you worry about what others think of you? How does this keep you stuck and focused on the wrong stuff?