The Real Reason I Haven’t Made a YouTube Video in over a Year

Hi.  Hello?  Is this thing on?  It’s been over a year since I posted a new video.  To be honest, I didn’t think anyone would notice. But alas, the internet surprised me.  Several people reached out, wondering where I was and wondering if I was ok.  And well, I figured, I owed you a bit of an explanation.

At the start of 2020, I was bopping along.  I was doing my thing.  Working, growing my practice, spending time with friends, adjusting to life as a new mom.  You know, life things.  I was doing it.  And I was feeling good about it.  

But then March came.  COVID-19 hit.  And everything came to a screeching halt.

Last January, I felt like I was in a rowboat, moving along, making good progress.  Things felt good.  And then March 2020 came, it felt like the universe dropped a two-ton cargo box into my rowboat.  Suddenly, my tiny boat wasn’t moving so fast.  I was paddling, and nothing was happening.  And before I knew it, my rowboat was filling up with water.

And I know I am not alone in this experience.  My guess is that you, too, felt like you were in your rowboat, moving along and doing your thing.  Then, when COVID-19 hit, and the world changed, you felt the water in your boat rising.  You felt a sense of stress and urgency.  And suddenly, your tiny boat was sinking.

So for me, in that moment, noticing the water rising and my boat not moving, I made a conscious decision.  I knew I couldn’t keep paddling with all those boxes of cargo.  I knew I couldn’t keep rowing and making the progress I normally did.  So even though all those things in my boat mattered to me, my relationships, my work, my family, my health, all of the things I care about…I realized I couldn’t keep doing them all and stay afloat.

So even though all those things in my boat mattered to me, my relationships, my work, my family, my health, all of the things I care about…I realized I couldn’t keep doing them all and stay afloat.

So I made a conscious and really difficult decision to look at what I could toss out of my boat.  It was hard.  These were all things that mattered to me.  But I knew, if I kept trying to row with all those things, my boat would keep filling with water, and I would go under.

Several years ago, I shared a video about the best life advice I’ve ever gotten.  (You can check out that video here.)  The advice was centered around the idea that we can’t do it all, all of the time.  So last March, a lot of stuff exited my boat.  And I know I’m not alone in that.  My guess?  A lot of stuff has floated out of your boat as well.

Maybe you were like me.  Maybe you noticed the water rising, and you made a conscious effort to throw stuff overboard.  But maybe you didn’t notice that.  Maybe you just felt crappy and stressed, and you didn’t know what was going on.  And maybe instead of choosing to toss stuff overboard, maybe stuff started floating out of your boat.  You didn’t have the energy or the time for things you previously did.

Over the last year, you’ve probably let go of some stuff.  Over the last year, you’ve probably abandoned some of your goals.  And in the last year, you’ve probably slowed some progress on things you were doing great on.  Of course you have!  Because you’ve been trying to figure out how the heck to be a human in the middle of a global pandemic.

So whatever you tossed overboard, whatever has sunk to the bottom of the ocean in your life, or whatever has floated miles away in the last year, that has kept you afloat.  Doing that has helped you manage during this incredibly difficult and unprecedented time.

I’m sharing this video, partly to tell you where I’ve been.  But I’m also sharing it, because I want to remind you that whatever hasn’t stayed in your boat, whatever has felt too much or too hard, you are not alone.  You did exactly what you needed to as a human.  And we are are here today because of that. 

These days, I feel like I’m paddling a little bit better.  My boat is drier, and things are a bit more manageable.  I feel like I’m ready to start adding some of that precious cargo back into my boat.  And maybe you’re ready to start adding some of that back as well.  

But remember, our boats are far from the state they were in January 2020.  So be patient with yourself about your paddling, your rowing, and whatever that looks like right now.  Be kind to yourself about what you’ve had to let go of.  And give yourself credit for weathering this storm and staying afloat in the last year.

We’re still paddling.  And we’re in this together.

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