How many times have you gotten a compliment from someone only to dismiss it? Perhaps you pull the old, “Me? Nooo.” Or maybe you get feedback from a boss or friend, only to focus on the one negative they shared, rather then the ten positives they shared? Is this you? Do you have a hard time taking compliments or really hearing positive feedback?
If so, you are not alone.
Today I’m sharing the ridiculously silly (but super helpful) thing I do when I get positive feedback. It might sound a little bonkers, but it’s amazing for helping me feeling happier, more accomplished, and more grateful. And I totally want you to try it. You ready? Watch below!
So when you get a compliment or kind feedback, I want you to exaggerate it. Hold your attention there. Blow it out of proportion, and make it bigger. Direct your brain to really see it and take it in.
If you’re thinking this sounds ridiculously strange, hear me out. This is a way to help your brain hear the compliment. To see and really take in the positive feedback.
Because remember, humans are wired to focus on the negative. (See why here.) So unless you teach your brain to do something different, it will focus on the negative, all day, everyday.
By magnifying a compliment, you are telling your brain to pay attention to it. Think of this as holding the compliment in your hands just a little longer so you can soak up all the goodness before you move on.
Let me give you an example. About a month ago, I got a really lovely email from a reader. She was so kind about my site and how it’s been helpful for her. She shared how she likes my approach and the way I phrase things, and y’all it was so thoughtful and totally made my day.
But unless I’m super intentional about taking this compliment in, here’s what my brain will do. “Oh cool, that’s a nice email.” And then, BOOP, brain dump. It’s already forgotten.
So instead of doing that, I tell my brain, “Hey Allison, pay attention. She said she loved your stuff. And that it’s really helpful. That feels rewarding and awesome. Take that in.”
Please note, I don’t sit there thinking my stuff doesn’t stink. We’re not talking about being self-absorbed and dwelling here for hours. We’re just doing a little something extra to help our brain pay attention.
So next time someone gives you a compliment, I want you to really take it in. And to do that, you’re going to need to magnify it and make it bigger, helping your brain really register it.
Exaggerating positive feedback or holding it longer than you’d expect might sound absolutely ridiculous, but this is how you help your brain register the good when all it wants to do is dismiss it and focus on the negative.
So next time you get a compliment, try this little trick. I think you’ll be surprised at how much it boosts your mood and pumps you up!