Stop Trying to Do It All. The Simple Trick to Feel Good about What You’re Doing.

I see so many people in life trying to “do it all.” Life puts so many different demands on us; we have so many roles to play, and there is often an unspoken pressure to do all this perfectly, all of the time. I hear this a lot in session with clients, and I can relate. We often feel guilty and inadequate when can’t do it all the way that we want. Today I’m sharing one of my favorite pieces of life advice for this very thing. I also share a funny story about how this advice came about. If you are a perfectionist, overachiever, or someone who often feels guilty about not being able to do it all, this video is for you!

 

2 Comments

  1. Alli,
    Loved your video on Taking a “B”. Definitely gave me the opportunity to pause on those thoughts.

    As an overworked manager, it seems i am continuously working with my staff to complete aging assignments.

    I strive to be seen working hard. (When I took on the role 2 years ago complacency and a complete lack of urgency abounded)

    My greatest fear is if I start reigning in my compulsory efforts the group may largely become more apathetic and scale back on self improvement and accountability.

    I’m hopeful you may have some thoughts or resources to consider.

    Thanks and Kind Regards,
    R

    1. Dr. Allison

      Ralph,

      Thanks for the comment and the question, super thoughtful! I totally get that fear. It was one of my own fears about slowing down and taking a B, particularly in times of high stress. Remember, taking a B doesn’t mean adopting lower standards or becoming apathetic, it’s about being realistic about what we can do and how we can do it. Its about being strategic with our resources using them thoughtfully, rather than taxing our system beyond what it can handle. There is some cool research in the field of self-compassion about the way more kind and encouraging self-talk affects both motivation and performance, and the research is clear; it helps with both. Many of us think we have to constantly grind it out or put the pedal to the metal to be successful, but research says otherwise. I’ve got some videos on this that you might find helpful, and if you want to take a deep dive in this area, check out Kristin Neff’s book, “Self-Compassion.” Hope that helps!

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